Boston accents: my tribulations

"I'm wicked ti-yahd"

I think I could ramble on forever about Boston accents. But seriously...what?

I don't have an idear, I have an idea. And I don't want to go to the bah. I actually don't know what a bah is. If you mean bar, you've got my attention. I’m not sure what wicked is, and I don’t know why self-proclaimed Bostonites think they can just walk around and take “R” out of certain words and then just throw it into others.

I'm not even sure in what world a Boston accent is attractive. Okay fine, maybe in a Good Will Hunting, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, sexy actor sort of world, but not in the real life I have to interact with you every single day sort of world. And certainly not when all I want to do is enjoy an ice cold beeR – make that a few – at a baR just outside of the GaRden.

I'm not saying I hate Boston.

Just saying I hate the way they talk. And not only do they have a highly unattractive accent (did I mention unattractive?), but they look at you like you are just riding the crazy train when you say things like Worcester instead of Wuhstuh.  But...w...where did all the letters in between go? No, really…I’m confused.

Granted, yes I'm from New York and I do (I confess) enjoy my morning caw-fee. But at least I'm not disregarding a letter that belongs in the English alphabet (hey Boston, it comes between Q & S, and it's not pronounced AH).

Sincerely lost, confused and a little bit bitchy,

-A.